Or, “Why one should always refuse a dinner invitation from the Beans”
Step 1: Use dinner knife for spreading almond butter on homemade bread.
Step 2: While Mackenzie is watching, lick almond butter off knife.
Step 2a: Subconsciously make a sound of contentment while doing so.
Step 3: Place knife in dishwasher.
Step 3a: Run dishwasher.
Step 4: Encourage Mackenzie to help unload all the silverware and put it away in the appropriate drawer.
Step 5. Leave kitchen briefly to grab something.
Step 6. Hear loud “Mmmm” exclamations coming from kitchen.
Step 7. Return to kitchen at a brisk pace.
Step 8. Arrive just in time to witness Mackenzie lick a knife up one side and down another, and sigh in apparent bliss at the taste of pretend almond butter.
Step 9: Watch in awe as she repeats the process for knife after knife, before carefully* putting the knives away in the drawer.
Step 10: Laugh, scoop the little smugrat up and tickle her, then get distracted by something at work.
Step 11: Freeze like a deer in the headlights when you recount the story to your spouse several hours later and he asks, “You did wash the knives again, right?”
*
